When you feel stressed or anxious, have you been mindful of your breathing? Notice if you’re holding your breath, taking shallow breaths, or breathing too quickly.
Take control of your breathing by trying a short breathing exercise:
Lay, sit, or stand comfortably, with good posture to allow yourself to breathe easily.
If you’re laying or sitting, maybe you want to close your eyes to increase focus.
You may place your hands gently on your stomach to physically feel it move in and out as you breathe.
Take note of physical sensations and then focus on your breathe.
If you find yourself becoming distracted by anything, acknowledge the distraction (distractions occur naturally and are reminders to return to what we were working on), allow it to roll through your awareness, and then simply return your attention to your breathing.
Breathe in for 3 seconds: 1-2-3
Breathe out for 3 seconds: 1-2-3
Repeat 3 times
Notice any differences in how you physically or mentally feel.
Calmly return your focus to the environment around you.
You may want to play around with the time spent in the exercise, do what works for you.
*Tip for severe anxiety and panic: if you find yourself holding your breath for longer than the brief pause during this exercise, skip the pause all together and just focus on steady in-and-out breathes.*
What’s your favorite positive affirmation, right now?
Mine is, “I have everything I need.”
I tend to feel like I need MORE (belongings, money, approval from others, etc.) and it can create anxiety and tension. I don’t actually need any of these things. When I practice living in the moment and tell myself that I have everything that I need RIGHT NOW, HERE in the present, I feel less anxious.
To all of the busy women, here are some strategies that can help you be productive and calm.
Does this sound familiar to you? Personally, as a busy person (have a young daughter, maintaining relationships, keeping the house tidy, running my own mental health private practice, blogging (for two websites), and preparing for ultramarathons), I struggle with being calm while I go about my day.
Here’s how it usually goes.
I’m usually productive in some way because there is always something that needs done. I tend to feel like things need to be done in an overly particular way. Tasks get done, it’s just not always how well (quality) or in the order that I’d like it to be, so I need to be flexible.
When there’s anxiety present.
Anxiety couples this feeling that something needs to be a certain way or lack of having an amount of control. Anxiety is also provoked when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of things that I need to do. It’s difficult being calm. I want things to be completed in a timely manner and done right. Sometimes, I aim for perfection, but I know that that’s unrealistic. I put a lot of pressure on myself.
How do I remain calm while I’m in a state of being busy and usually anxious?
• I practice time management • Prioritize tasks • Ask others for help • Tell someone “no” when they ask if I can do something when I truly don’t have the time • Mindfulness • Slow myself down, so I can think clearly • Stay grounded • Self-care. Sometimes taking a full day for it! • Exercise or run • I focus on my strengths and goals (and the reasons behind them) • I think positive (in general) • I reframe my distorted thinking • I write down affirmations
There are probably some other tricks that I use that aren’t coming to mind. Whatever I do, I choose to act in a more helpful and healthy manner. I choose to react in a way that is more calm.
How do I know which strategy will help?
I don’t 100% of the time know which strategy will help, but I do know that I can try two or three and see if they work. Overtime, it is easier to know which strategies will work and for what. If a strategy doesn’t help, no big deal, pick another. There are instances where anxiety is stronger and it takes a handful of strategies to help. Also, no big deal.
The strategies from this list are additional “to do’s”, but they makes life better and adds peace. This work becomes more effortless the more that I practice it. You can do this, too.
This article is about four simple, yet powerful ways to manage worry and anxiety. Are you worried about how things are going to go for you? Do you fear that you won’t be able to handle potential problems? How can you make a tough decision not having all of the details? Here’s what you CAN do. You can take control of your mind by shifting what you focus on. You can choose to focus on your strengths and the things that you have control over. You can also challenge irrational thoughts of uncertainty and worry.
Handling being worried over how things are going to go for you.
Who do I want to be?
What quality of presence do I want to bring to any challenges I face?
Note the shift that occurs when you go from focusing on what will go wrong today to the person you want to be.
Challenge your fear that you won’t be able to handle potential problems.
One way to address this fear is to imagine yourself coping. Whenever you are worried about a problem that could happen, envision yourself skillfully coping with it.
What does that look like?
Recall a strength that you have demonstrated multiple times when you’ve risen to meet a challenge. Then, expect yourself to rise, bringing that same strength, resourcefulness, and determination to the problem that might challenge you today.
Pause & notice whether this time is different.
When a familiar worry or fear crosses your mind, this can be about failing or that something horrible will happen, notice that it has never actually happened.
It’s likely that your mind is ignoring all of the times that those worries and fears didn’t come true and that this time is different.
If this sounds like your experiences, then consider that the worry or fear is a false alarm, like the other times.
Make decisions even when there is uncertainty.
When you’re making a tough decision, all you can do is make the best choice for what you know right then and there.
Embrace the reality of not having all of the information and details today, not knowing exactly what the outcome will be.
Allow yourself to be free from the assumption that you’re responsible for knowing the unknown.
By choosing to focus on what is helpful, you can better manage your worries and anxiety. Always draw from your strengths and know that you will overcome any stressful situations that lay ahead because you have overcome things in the past. Challenge irrational and distorted thoughts, acknowledging and then reframing them. Notice the shift in thinking and how you feel afterwards. Practice these tips so that they stick to your mind and alter how your mind works. Have power over worry and anxiety.
Mindfulness is choosing to be aware of the present moment, on purpose, and in a non-judgmental way. When being mindful, our attention and focus is on whatever we choose to observe or do.In this moment, choose to focus your mind wherever you’d like it to be.
Maybe you focus on your emotions, thoughts and physical sensations as you experience the environment around you.
Hold your attention there, focusing on being in the moment.
States of mind
We have three states of mind:
• Emotion Mind • Reason Mind • Wise Mind
Wise Mind is the balance between emotion and reason. We acknowledge and validate our feelings and use reason to problem-solve, think about consequences, and choose effective behaviors.
In Wise Mind, we act in ways that reflect our goals, values, and who we want to be.
Ask yourself, in any moment, “What is my Wise Mind telling me?” Then act.
Getting into Wise Mind, Step One
• Observe and describe what and how you behave, think, feel, and your surroundings in a non-judgmental way. Stay focused one-mindfully.
To observe means just noticing how things are, without adding or taking away.
To describe means to put words to your observations.
• What you do is participate and how you do that is effectively.
• Take what you observed (step one) and choose what you want to participate in. Participate in it fully, immerse yourself in the experience.
• How to choose what to participate in: base it off of what will work or be effective.
Once you are participating effectively, you’re in Wise Mind. Notice what this feels like.
Let Go of Judgments
We all have judgments. Whenever you notice yourself judging, let the judgment pass through and drift off, don’t allow it to stick around. Judgments should come and go like clouds and ocean waves.
Practicing Mindfulness in the Moment
Be present in the “small moments.”
Take 10 minutes and clean part of your home, fully immersing yourself in the process.
When you find yourself distracted, this could be a judgmental thought, refocus on what you’re doing. Full focus and attention, non-judgmentally.
A thought on meditation. Meditation can be considered anything if you are present, being non-judgmental, and have an open heart.
Meditate on your life experiences, starting with the moment you are currently in. Stay present for some time, connecting to the moment, then, when you’re ready, shift your focus to another moment.
Let potentially stressful situations, criticisms, or anything else that might “stick” to you, causing needless suffering, roll off your mind. Allow these experiences to slide through your awareness.
Distractions, distractions, distractions
Distractions don’t go away, they are a part of this world. Do not get frustrated with distractions, they are reminders to go back to what you’re working on. They’re natural.
When you become distracted, bring yourself back to the present moment. Do this over, and over, and over again, if you need to.
Taking hold of your mind
Direct your mind where you want it. There are many thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations to direct your attention towards. Choose one of those, opening up your mind to it and closing your attention off from the other options.
If your mind drifts towards a closed off option, gently re-close it and return to the option of choice.