Think of something that you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Opening a business?
Contacting someone you haven’t talked to in a long time or ever?
Dumping an unhealthy habit that you have been clinging to for years?
It can be anything.
It is probably overwhelming to think about and you might be afraid of the process. I’m talking about really stepping outside of your comfort zone and tearing down the protective barriers.
Think about how freeing accomplishing that dream could feel… YOU DID IT!
Think about all of the possible benefits of that accomplishment, like further opportunities, boost in self-esteem, feelings of gratitude and happiness, and reconnection.
Fear and anxiety hold us back
Being honest with yourself, what has kept you from doing that?
If it is anxiety, you’re not alone. The feelings of fear and anxiety are there to protect us on a primitive level. These emotions help us to survive and make better choices. If we didn’t have these feelings, what would be stopping us from doing something dangerous?
These are normal, healthy emotions and we can’t make them go away. We don’t want them to go away.
Our thoughts that hold us back can seem to come out of nowhere at times. Thoughts are naturally occurring and will come and go. Know that thoughts are thoughts and not reality. Just because we think something, doesn’t make it true.
Identify the thoughts that hold you back, reframe them to better use, and learn how to better manage your anxiety. Even though we can manage anxiety, we can’t get rid of it, but we can keep it at bay.
What was that dream accomplishment that you thought of earlier? How can you make it work? What small step can you take to get the ball rolling?
My Real-Life Example
Here is a simple example of a long-term goal of mine and thoughts that I struggle with. This is in regards to participating in the BADWATER 135 ultramarathon (I am a seasoned ultrarunner).
This is a goal that has been several years in the making and there are a few more years to come in this journey before I stand at the start line.
Many doubts have popped up in my mind over the years. Doubts that I’m not good enough, and doubts that details would never come together to make this dream a reality.
Anxiety comes and goes.
I experience anxiety over what people might say or think if I ever bring up wanting to run The World’s Toughest Footrace, so I rarely talk about it.
Anxiety over becoming injured and never being able to run ever again (slim chance and unrealistic).
These thoughts have been bothersome, coming and going, since I got started. I want this goal bad enough, and I’m going to give my best effort, so the thoughts aren’t going to keep me from doing what I am passionate about.
Reframe fearful and anxious thoughts
The unhelpful thoughts are identified, now let me show you how to reframe this fearful way of thinking.
The doubt that “I’m not good enough” can be reframed to, “I am hardworking and have been thoughtfully and skillfully working towards this goal for years.
I have grown so much, not just as an athlete, but as a person. I’ve come so far, I’m not going to give up now.” And “things won’t ever come together for me,” to “continue to be patient, every year you are steps closer to this goal, and you are diligent in catching all of the preparation details.”
As for the anxiety, “I can’t ever tell anyone without being judged,” to “who cares what people have to say about it, this is something that I love.”
For anxiety over injury, “I’m worried that I’m going to get injured in a freak accident on the trail while training,” to “I’m a careful and skilled runner. I rest my body and care for it enough, so that I can do what I do. My running coach is also mindful when it comes to injury prevention.” That is how to reframe, think realistically.
More anxiety management
There are multiple ways to manage anxiety. Self-care should be the top priority because it is the base from which we build upon. This includes proper diet, exercise, and sleep. Use the reframing skill from above.
Learn Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) coping strategies.
Talk with a licensed professional counselor to have support in sorting out the details and find what works for you.
Practice yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises.
Practice these things consistently overtime to create helpful habits. The process isn’t always easy, there are challenging times, stick with it, and give yourself grace. It is a true learning process.
I have been using these strategies consistently for years and they work. As you do the strategies, you will find favorites and learn when to use which strategy, as one will be more helpful than another in any given scenario.
When your dream becomes a reality
When the time comes to tackle that dream, reflect on your journey.
How does it feel to be where you are, today?
What is the biggest thing that you learned in those smaller steps?
How can you apply what you have learned in the future?
Continue the helpful habits that you have established or are continuing to work on.
Honestly, the work never ends, and having a healthy mind is a ton of work, but we absolutely need to nourish it.
When that dream becomes reality, be connected and in the moment with it. Take it in. What does it feel like physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
What is the greatest part of the experience?
How proud do you feel?
What have you learned?
When it’s all over, would you do it again?
It is important that we acknowledge the benefits of the hard work and perseverance. There is a mountain of experience to take away from accomplishing a dream.
I hope that you found this article insightful and are perhaps examining anxious thoughts that are keeping you from achieving your dreams.
Incorporate the strategies that I have discussed into your day-to-day life and notice the benefits.
Keep striving towards accomplishing your dreams, soaking in that journey.
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