Spinning Your Wheels: ask for help when you’re stuck

We don’t always like to ask for help, a lot of times we’ll wait until we’re feeling completely overwhelmed by emotions and stress. While there are multiple reasons that we might behave this way, such as fear of failure or rejection, for example… however, this article isn’t about that. Let’s get right to the point. Ask for help when you know you’re stuck vs spinning your wheels and wearing down. Find out why and how.

The video below has more details, I hope you like it, literally!

Who can help?

There are many support, helping, and healing professionals out there: medical professionals; birthing coaches; personal trainers; dietitians; chiropractors; physical therapists; occupational therapists; mental health professionals; running coaches; life coaches; business coaches; financial planners; attorneys…

Turn to your network, coworkers, family, and friends, and begin to just look and see who might be able to help or who knows someone who can help. When we need a helping hand with something, we’re in a vulnerable place and sometimes asking for a hand might involve sensitive information. As you look for someone to help, be aware of confidentiality, protect your privacy.

Possible signs of needing assistance

There is a wide range of signs and symptoms that point in the direction that you should ask for help. Depending on your situation, you may experience tension in your body, stress build up, upsetting emotions arise, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, distress tolerance lowers, self-defeating thoughts, mental breakdowns… this can quickly start sounding like a commercial reciting the side effects of a meditation.

Go with your gut instinct and ask for help when you realize that you need it. Avoid the side effects.

Why you should ask for a hand

Don’t put off seeking help because sometimes symptoms will worsen. In some cases, the longer we spin our wheels, the further we sink down in the mud, the harder it is to get back out. The mud flies everywhere and then, blankets things around you. The longer we are stuck and sinking down, the greater the risk of other areas of our lives have at becoming harmed.

Keep in mind, this is incredibly important with mental health, that it is easier to be treated the sooner you seek help from a mental health professional. The sooner you reach out, the sooner you can feel relief.

Lower distress tolerance was mentioned above as a sign that you may need to reach out for help, but how do you know how to measure distress? How much distress is too much? Visit this little article and resource on distress tolerance and download the scale to increase awareness.

Even if you haven’t felt stuck for long, still consider reaching out. It’s better to ask a question, to have a second opinion or additional set of eyes on something than going alone.

Possible benefits of a helping hand, a second opinion, and another set of eyes

By taking action, we create the opportunity to grow personally and develop professionally. There is much to learn from other people. They have different opinions, experiences, and expertise.

Overcome the risks you feel that are keeping you down by taking a chance [By the way, sometimes the risks aren’t actually there, but our minds tell us they are. For example, making a mountain out of a mole hill. Our thoughts are catastrophizing. This is a part of cognitive distortions.] The benefits of getting help typically greatly outweigh the potential risks.

Some potential benefits are accelerating towards achieving goals, learning something new, becoming more flexible seeing from another person’s perspective, lessening the chance of getting stuck again with that same thing, and making a connection with someone you might not have otherwise.

You’ll feel relieved after reaching out. Opportunity awaits! Achieving goals are on the other side seeking help. You deserve help, you deserve to reach your goals! You’ve worked hard to get to where you are now, everyone gets stuck at some point, acknowledge your hard work and achievements. Asking for help isn’t admitting defeat, asking for help is a strength.

Thanks for watching this video, I hope that it provided valuable insight and a nudge in the direction towards asking for help if you need it.

Please, help others find this video by “liking” it and “subscribing” to my YouTube channel. Your support is so appreciated!

When Hard Becomes Easy

One day, your “hard” will become your “easy.” Whatever mountain you’re climbing, whether it is the loss of a loved one, difficulty at work, anxiety blanketing everything, a conflict, etc, don’t give up. Don’t lose hope and faith.

Keep moving forward, though a short rest is okay, you should take action in the valley and continue working in the climb. The first step is to acknowledge that what you’re going through is difficult and allow yourself to feel your emotions. Acknowledgement is a key to being able to move forward. Along side of acknowledgement, look after your well-being and practice self-care.

Take a deep breath, find something relaxing, something that works for you. Read a book or articles about what you’re going through, use credible sources. Talk to a professional. Try something new; this can be stressful because one, it is hard to think of something new to try when you feel like you’ve tried everything. – Your mindset may not be in the right place. Two, because trying something new is taking a risk, it is unfamiliar. It is worth the risk because it might be highly beneficial, and even if it ends up falling short, at least it was partly beneficial. We learn from taking action and risks.

The things that we experience in life make us stronger. Climbing mountains make us stronger. Muscle fibers must be broken down in order to rebuild, becoming more powerful. We learn about ourselves and figure things out, like how to boost ourselves up. Eventually, the situation becomes easier. We face, adapt and work through what is going on, and the more we practice this, the easier it becomes. As we’re strengthened, it becomes easier and you gain confidence that you can reach the peak. Don’t give up, keep moving. Remain hopeful and have faith. The view at the top is beautiful.

Pacific Crest Trail, CA

Wellness Tips for the Busy Person

Busy

“Busy” definitions: having a great deal to do; occupied with or concentrating on a particular activity or object of attention; excessively detailed or decorated.

People are immersed in projects and activities for a number of reasons. One, is simply because life becomes chaotic. With multiple things occurring at once, a person must act before losing control. Another, is because it is in human nature. People prefer to be busy because achievement feels good. Whatever the reason is, remember that wellness is paramount. It is easy for wellness to become buried underneath the busyness, but if someone doesn’t take care of themselves, then they can’t take care of business. These tips are easy to apply to the busy person’s schedule and will promote well-being.

Goal Setting, Prioritize and Be Realistic

Busy people have a tendency to set too many goals at once because they feel there is a ton to accomplish in just a short amount of time. When focus is spread too thin, the outcomes are negative. Work on fewer goals at a time, less is more. Having less goals will reduce stress and will help increase productivity because it is easier to focus on less tasks at a time. A person can still multi-task, and see positive outcomes.

In order to decide which goals to tackle first, examine the priority of each goal and rank them from most to least important. Work on two or three of the higher priority goals, first. Stay mindful that the number of goals that is worked on at a time should depend on the difficulty of the goal, itself. Lofty goals tend to be more time consuming, stressful and taxing. If three high priority goals are lofty, then consider working on one or two at a time.

Goals can be broken down into steps and written on a calendar to help stay on target of completing the goal on time. This method can be less stressful and taxing. When taking a lofty goal step by step, then one or two simpler goals that are higher priority can be added. Watch for lofty goals that are unrealistic because it is easier to become overwhelmed or discouraged before a work groove settles in. With the correct approach, taking smaller steps will still lead one to reach their goals.

Journal Regularly

Keeping a journal aids mental well-being. Journaling allows for time to unwind and relax. Jotting things down, instead of hoarding them inside of the mind can help decompress. The person is freed-up from remembering things if they are written down, and it can jog the memory of something they needed or wanted to do. In fact, journaling helps improve memory because the person is more likely to remember something if they physically write it down. They can better recall the information, even at times when it isn’t visually in front of their face.

Journal to track and explore thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Watch for patterns of reactions to situations. Realizing behaviors and feelings can lead to problem solving. Having a little extra insight can help one become more self-aware. Write in a journal once or twice a day. Find a time that works best. Try part way through the day (lunch time), and then towards the end of the day (before the bedtime routine).

Receive Feedback

The busy person can ask someone whom they are comfortable with for feedback on how they are emotionally perceived. Someone else’s perspective on a particular situation is a tool. Ask a trustworthy friend or family member. The person can learn from friends or family whether they are taking on too many projects and activities at a time. When a person is overly busy, they become more sensitive or emotional, stress takes a toll. If this occurs for a lengthy amount of time, the person becomes burnt out. Burn out is physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. When burnt out, it is more difficult to function normally. How a person reacts to burn out can impact others around them. Burn out is a sign that it is time to take a break and work on one’s wellness to rejuvenate and reset.

Asking for feedback might be the most difficult task of these three because it involves being vulnerable. People don’t always like to hear what another person has to say about them, but this is why it is important to chose someone whom they are comfortable with. It is challenging to receive constructive criticism. Listening to another person’s perception provides more insight and needed information to help foster their well-being.

Implementing, Practice and Patience

Goal setting, journaling and receiving feedback from others, are effective wellness tips for the busy person. It takes practice to learn something new and for it to become routine and habit. Hang in there, be patient. Practicing these tips will nurture overall well-being, increase organization and insight, help practice self-awareness, reduce stress, and promote productivity. Don’t let busyness overtake wellness,.

Mount Vernon Trail, Alexandria, VA