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Do You Think That You Have Imposter Syndrome?: and what to do about it

Do I belong here? Who am I to be doing this sort of work? I feel like a fraud, though I’m not doing anything wrong, but sometimes this feels wrong.

Dealing with imposter syndrome can be confusing. Someone who is feeling like an imposter may have these thoughts and emotions, one side telling you that you’re a fraud and the other working to rationalize the situation.

Note: Imposter syndrome is not an official psychiatric diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual (DSM-5).

Who can be affected?

It’s common to have these thoughts of feeling like a fraud in an academic or work setting. Many people, both women and men, including experts in their field, will experience it. People in the helping and healing fields, like mental health professionals, also go through this. They may think something along the lines of, why do people come to ME for support with their issues?

Graduate students may experience this imposter sensation because they are at an in-between phase of professional development. They tend to feel unprepared and don’t fully acknowledge their strengths as they begin their career.

Why does this happen?

People will feel like they’re lacking a certain skill to get the job done. Realistically, people who are working in a constantly evolving field are sharpening their skills and learning new ones quite frequently to keep up with new technologies and research findings. There is an infinite amount of information to learn and an equal amount of skillful work to be done.

Remember, nobody is perfect and mistakes will be made, especially when someone is stepping into a new career. Not only should people acknowledge that their skills need dialed in, people need to also acknowledge their strengths.

The people who don’t acknowledge their capabilities and efforts tend to attribute their accomplishments to external causes, like luck, good timing, or effort that they can’t regularly expend.

If you are having difficulty pinpointing your strengths

If someone is struggling to recognize their strengths, a good way to figure out what those are is to schedule some time with a pen and paper and reflect on times that you handled something well.

  • What was the problem?
  • How did you handle it?
  • What were your strengths?
  • How can you use those strengths now?

Another way of finding strengths is to list achievements.

  • What short-term goals have you accomplished? These can be as simple as time management or maintaining a weekly schedule.
  • What long-term goals have you accomplished?
  • What were your strengths?
  • How can you use those now?

Journaling about talent that you use in school or on the job may be useful.

If someone is still having difficulty thinking of their strengths, they can ask someone whom they are close to, who knows them well, and are comfortable asking that person to list three things that they are good at. Next, the person should take those three things and journal about times they used those characteristics, and lastly, how to apply them in the present. Everyone has things they’re good at.

Recognizing expertise is important. People tend to be overly self-critical, on a level that is self-defeating or unhelpful. Over time, this behavior is destructive and likely smothering out productivity. If someone is working in Information Technology (IT) and they recognize a weakness in a skill, instead of playing into unhelpful thoughts, remembering what what one does well and playing to their strengths will combat this. It’s important to strengthen the weaker skill, but the person also must recall that they are good at. If the IT worker has strong communication and group work skills, then simply highlighting those should help. One can’t always be good at everything. Then, they can communicate to their team where they need assistance in getting the job done.

Pressure to achieve

Pressure to achieve comes from many places. People experience pressure to perform at a higher level from their peers, colleagues, managers, themselves, and messages from society (Think about the American culture, where it is practically a badge of honor to be overworked. This is an unhealthy habit.). Society’s message is that we must always achieve.

Research shows that certain people are more susceptible to fraudulent feelings stemming from their family’s beliefs on achievement and how parents praised or criticized their child.

Perfectionism

One thing to be mindful of when going through imposter syndrome is perfectionism. People will attempt to do everything perfectly and might have an “all-or-nothing” mindset. Being aware and weary of perfectionism is important because it can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. “All-or-nothing” thinking is a cognitive distortion and should be reframed (Refer to the cognitive reframing article on how to reframe unhelpful thoughts into helpful ones).

Change your thinking by checking your irrational thoughts and practice reframing them. Read about cognitive reframing.

Interesting info and more answers to burning questions

Feel Like a Fraud?

Imposter Syndrome

A Psychologist Explains How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome

10 Steps You Can Use to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

TED Videos

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Spinning Your Wheels: ask for help when you’re stuck

We don’t always like to ask for help, a lot of times we’ll wait until we’re feeling completely overwhelmed by emotions and stress. While there are multiple reasons that we might behave this way, such as fear of failure or rejection, for example… however, this article isn’t about that. Let’s get right to the point. Ask for help when you know you’re stuck vs spinning your wheels and wearing down. Find out why and how.

The video below has more details, I hope you like it, literally!

Who can help?

There are many support, helping, and healing professionals out there: medical professionals; birthing coaches; personal trainers; dietitians; chiropractors; physical therapists; occupational therapists; mental health professionals; running coaches; life coaches; business coaches; financial planners; attorneys…

Turn to your network, coworkers, family, and friends, and begin to just look and see who might be able to help or who knows someone who can help. When we need a helping hand with something, we’re in a vulnerable place and sometimes asking for a hand might involve sensitive information. As you look for someone to help, be aware of confidentiality, protect your privacy.

Possible signs of needing assistance

There is a wide range of signs and symptoms that point in the direction that you should ask for help. Depending on your situation, you may experience tension in your body, stress build up, upsetting emotions arise, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, distress tolerance lowers, self-defeating thoughts, mental breakdowns… this can quickly start sounding like a commercial reciting the side effects of a meditation.

Go with your gut instinct and ask for help when you realize that you need it. Avoid the side effects.

Why you should ask for a hand

Don’t put off seeking help because sometimes symptoms will worsen. In some cases, the longer we spin our wheels, the further we sink down in the mud, the harder it is to get back out. The mud flies everywhere and then, blankets things around you. The longer we are stuck and sinking down, the greater the risk of other areas of our lives have at becoming harmed.

Keep in mind, this is incredibly important with mental health, that it is easier to be treated the sooner you seek help from a mental health professional. The sooner you reach out, the sooner you can feel relief.

Lower distress tolerance was mentioned above as a sign that you may need to reach out for help, but how do you know how to measure distress? How much distress is too much? Visit this little article and resource on distress tolerance and download the scale to increase awareness.

Even if you haven’t felt stuck for long, still consider reaching out. It’s better to ask a question, to have a second opinion or additional set of eyes on something than going alone.

Possible benefits of a helping hand, a second opinion, and another set of eyes

By taking action, we create the opportunity to grow personally and develop professionally. There is much to learn from other people. They have different opinions, experiences, and expertise.

Overcome the risks you feel that are keeping you down by taking a chance [By the way, sometimes the risks aren’t actually there, but our minds tell us they are. For example, making a mountain out of a mole hill. Our thoughts are catastrophizing. This is a part of cognitive distortions.] The benefits of getting help typically greatly outweigh the potential risks.

Some potential benefits are accelerating towards achieving goals, learning something new, becoming more flexible seeing from another person’s perspective, lessening the chance of getting stuck again with that same thing, and making a connection with someone you might not have otherwise.

You’ll feel relieved after reaching out. Opportunity awaits! Achieving goals are on the other side seeking help. You deserve help, you deserve to reach your goals! You’ve worked hard to get to where you are now, everyone gets stuck at some point, acknowledge your hard work and achievements. Asking for help isn’t admitting defeat, asking for help is a strength.

Thanks for watching this video, I hope that it provided valuable insight and a nudge in the direction towards asking for help if you need it.

Please, help others find this video by “liking” it and “subscribing” to my YouTube channel. Your support is so appreciated!

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1% Better Habits and Goals

1%, think about it

If we made a small change in our lives every single day, just 1% better, what would our lives look like? How much improvement would we see? How much closer would we be to our goals?

We often don’t notice tiny changes or progress until they build up over time. We can also be quick to dismiss them, ah, it’s nothing, it’s not a big deal. Later, down the road, we look back and notice that our decisions (thoughts) and habits (behaviors) mattered all along. Depending on whether you made good decisions and led healthy habits, you might find yourself in a fantastic situation or a terrible situation.

Example

If we make wise financial decisions over the years, invest properly for retirement, and maybe even follow a financial adviser’s advice, then we should be set up to have a lovely retirement.

If we make poor financial decisions over the years, we spend money excessively, living beyond our means, and we don’t even consider speaking with a financial adviser, then we probably won’t be able to retire the way that we wish to or even at all.

Tiny details matter! Don’t automatically count something out just because it is minor.

A little more on small changes

The change can be anything small. Think to yourself, what makes you happy? What would make you happy? Increase the value of your day by making a 1% change.

Creating changes involves good habits. Do your habits reflect your goals? This also has to do with identity. Who are you? Who do you wish to become? We behave in a way that reflects who we wish to become. Every time we repeat a behavior that reflects that envisioned person or goal, we’re creating a habit. The more we do that behavior, the more the habit is reinforced. Reinforcing the behavior is an important step, it must be repeated over and over. The more you act towards your goals, the more you identify with that.

Watch this video as I share about a current long-term goal and the tiny details that all add up, making my dream a reality.

I hope that you find this eight minute video informative and inspiring.

Please, “like” and “subscribe” to my YouTube channel while you’re there. I appreciate your support.

Want more on this sort of topic? Read my article, “Being Fearless, Accomplishing a Dream.”

It is about fear and anxiety holding us back.

As always, be well.

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Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals

How to set goals

Set S.M.A.R.T. goals

Specific

Measurable

Attainable

Realistic

Time-based

This is important framework for creating any goal, short-term or long-term. I keep this structure in mind when helping people set goals and intentions.

We work smart

▪︎ We are specific

▪︎ We look at the details of the desired outcome

▪︎ We talk about what already works for the person and if we can use it to reach the current goal

▪︎ We discuss how to go about the smaller steps towards completing the bigger picture

▪︎ We figure out a time frame and consider how much time a person has to devote towards the goal

▪︎ We explore appropriate alternative strategies and methods to reach the goal. There’s probably more than one way to go about it

▪︎ I teach people new strategies and we determine how they can be applied to reflect what we’re aiming for

Reach out to me if you think I can help with a goal.

Browse my blog (and subscribe) to see what kind of work that I do and for free, downloadable mental health resources!

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New Mental Health Books and Resources (for mental health professionals)

I ordered a few card decks and workbooks to grow my practice from PESI.

Do you use any of these? What’s your favorite or go-to worksheet?

Watch my unboxing video below.

Books & Resources

Train Your Brain Card Deck by Dr. Jennifer Sweeton


The Body Positivity Card Deck by Judith Matz, LCSW, ACSW & Amy Pershing, LMSW, ACSW, CCTP-II


ACT with Anxiety by Richard Sears, PsyD, PhD, MBA, ABPP


Somatic Psychotherapy Toolbox by Manuela Mischke-Reeds, MA, LMFT


The Miscarriage Map Workbook by Sunita Osborn, PsyD

These valuable resources will be well-studied and used. And marked with sticky notes!

I’m feeling excited about diving into these, though I still have to finish reading the previous books that I purchased… I buy more resources than I have time to go through them because I’m so busy, but I’ll get around to it. Do you do this, as well?

I enjoy our profession.

I hope you’re doing well!

Please support my YouTube channel by liking and subscribing

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It’s a “Positive Affirmation” Kinda Day

Today, I’m diving into my positive affirmations, as negative and distorted thoughts have crept in. This is completely normal and something everyone goes through. I like to write my positive affirmations, which include quotes and Bible verses, on index cards. Today, I wrote one about being a business owner. The affirmations are kept on a shelf next to my work desk. As I read through my cards, I reflected on them, noticing that I’m feeling pretty good about them and have not needed to use certain affirmations for a few months! I take them to heart, I know that they are true.

When I’m going through my day and notice physical symptoms of worry and anxiety, I know that a helpful strategy is to visit my cards. Having three to four mental coping strategies on hand, that aren’t going on a run, is key. Addressing anxiety by going on a run is my top way to manage symptoms, but I can’t always go out when I want, so I take deep breaths and incorporate mindfulness to create a different reaction. I read my affirmations as many times as I feel appropriate. There are tougher days where I keep them on my desk and will intentionally be more aware of my breathing throughout the day, as I know that an unhelpful habit is to hold my breath.

When was the last time that you read or recited positive affirmations to yourself? If it has been a while, don’t forget that this is a simple way to redirect your thoughts. Know your distorted thoughts and unhelpful habits. Know when you need to use your positive affirmations and other coping strategies, and pay attention to the benefits.

Find more on affirmations below:

Positive affirmations to get through a crisis or difficult time.

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Friendly Reminder: Understanding and Protecting Your Mental Health

Friendly reminder

Please, take care in understanding and protecting your mental health. Grow your understanding by reading and listening to credible resources.

Just a few thoughts

If you use social media or the internet to find information, use caution, as there are people who spread misinformation about mental health. – People who are lifestyle bloggers, coaches, or celebrities (people who probably don’t have an educational degree on the subject). Always get the professional’s advice.

Expand your resources and tools. If you’ve never listened to a podcast episode on mental health, consider listening one day while cooking dinner. Subscribe to a mental health care professional’s YouTube channel. Buy a new book that sounds really interesting. You could start a wish list of books and workbooks on Amazon or write them in your journal. Having more valuable resources at your fingertips helps you to further understand and protect your mental health.

Other’s mental health

Also, take the time to learn about how mental health affects everyone differently. We will all likely respond in dissimilar ways to issues and crisis. Many people struggle in silence and still carry on throughout their day doing the best that they can. A struggle isn’t always fully apparent.

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Resilient Motherhood

Resilient Motherhood is a team of experts serving Pittsburgh, PA & Westmorland, PA.

They are dedicated to helping women feel strong and confident in their bodies during pregnancy, motherhood, and beyond.

Resilient Motherhood was born out of passion and necessity.

Read their story.

Explore their services.

Resilient Motherhood

Survivors: Resilient Motherhood helps survivors of sexual assault and abuse re-claim their power and birth with confidence.

Labor and Delivery Prep

“Prevent perineal tearing, fearlessly manage pain and triggers, empower yourself to have
a healing birth.”

Fix Pain

“The truth is that many survivors have pelvic pain. Like your trauma, let’s make it a thing of the past. We are in this together.”

Stabilize Your Mood

“We will work together to use heart rate variability, food, and exercise to help you
feel your best every day.”

Learn more

Don’t forget to visit their resources. They have resources available for download and a blog. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook.

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WAYS TO STRENGTHEN RUNNER’S BODY IMAGE AND POSITIVITY

As runners, we need to make sure that we’re protecting our body image and promoting body positivity. Acknowledge that all of our bodies are different, setting aside judgments, opinions, and expectations of what our body should look like as runners. Know that all of our bodies are incredible and capable of so much. They can go ultra distances, but on a cellular functional level they are more impressive. Appreciate, love, and respect that.

Self-care is obviously very important. Appropriate recovery and nutrition, among all of the other ways that we support our bodies.

We have to check our negative and distorted thoughts about our bodies. What kind of thoughts are you having about your body? What are you doing with those thoughts? Are you taking care of yourself? Positive affirmations, caring thoughts, embracing ourselves how we are in the moment, and focusing on the resiliency of our bodies are a few ways to go about promoting healthier and more realistic thoughts. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts, what you choose to do with them is what matters! We all experience negative thoughts.

It’s okay to want to improve our bodies and become sharper athletes. Make sure you’re going about it in the right way and not causing harm or injury.

Be present and content with how you are because our bodies do so much for us, they change day-to-day, anyway. Give thanks to your body, even the challenging parts. Forgive yourself for things that you have said or done to your body that you shouldn’t have. A good way to do this is to look at yourself in the mirror and repeat these things, allowing them to settle into your heart. Let yourself heal.

When hurtful words and actions come from other people, we don’t have control over that. We choose to control how we react. Have some sort of comeback or body positive affirmation in your back pocket for when this occurs. Protect yourself, stand up for yourself. A ton of people out there will have something negative to say about your body. It sucks, it shouldn’t happen, but try to not allow it to take a hold of you. You’re better than that and you’re worth it. Plain ignoring the person is fine, but it feels better saying something positive about your body. Better yet, if you say something amazing about the part of your body that they are judging or criticizing. Use your strength and take a stand.

You know what’s best for your body, but if you’re honestly struggling with body image and eating, reach out for support. Strengthen yourself through people who are there to help you. It’s alright to need any level of help with something. You could contact a professional mental health counselor, someone who specializes in body image and eating. Dietitians and nutritionists. A running coach, maybe even one who is certified in nutrition. For a good shot at getting the best support for you, make sure that they are a good fit to work with.

As a running community, let’s continue the conversation, sticking together on issues like this, and lifting each other up. Thank you for reading.

Breakneck Falls, McConnell Mills State Park

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EXTRA SELF-CARE AND HEALTHY HABITS, SOMETHING WE ALL NEED.

Short talk about self-care, something that seems easy, but it’s actually kind of difficult to do. I feel this topic is covered so much, but yet, we all still struggle with it. I can’t think of a single person, myself included, who could be practicing self-care more frequently or in a way that’s more beneficial.

May is Mental Health Awareness month. What are you doing this month (and everyday because we have mental health everyday) to make sure that we are growing our knowledge and awareness of mental health? How are you supporting yourself? How are you supporting others? Please, share with me down in the comments what you’re doing for mental wellness. [I could use some fresh ideas.]

Mental health professionals cannot end the stigma alone and get everyone the help that they need, we need you to be a part of this mission.

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